BACK TO HOMEPAGE

RETRONOSTALGIA is the soundtrack to the LODESTOWN comics. the emotional arc loosely follows the 5 stages of grief, and when played on repeat, loops back on itself in a continuous cycle.

this album is about...a lot of things.

its about fleeing into the past to cope with the present because the future is unthinkable.
its about knowing you dont wanna die, you just want your life to get better. but your life isnt changing, so youre stuck grieving a life you cant escape.
its about going back and forth endlessly between optimism and pessimism, eventually settling for a version of nihilism that still leaves room for both.
its about recognizing the cycles of your own behaviour, and accepting them and yourself in the process.
its about forgiving not just your past, but your future self for being stuck in that cycle.
its about the odd moment of clarity* that interrupts your 3rd mental breakdown in as many weeks as something finally jolts you back to reality because its just a little too absurd to rationally coexist with you in your state of seemingly endless misery.
its about time blindess, and executive dysfunction, and the ADHD guilt-shame-hell-spiral.
its about self destruction, self isolation, the delicate balance between self sabotage and self preservation.
its about agoraphobia. stockholm syndrome. disordered eating. shit friendships, even shittier periods of time alone. better friends, better time alone.
its about the fine line between romanticizing the little things, and trying to aestheticize your problems away.
its about trying to consume your way out of capitalism.
its about escapism. nostalgia. doomscrolling. paranoid delusions. depression. phone addiction. breakfast cereal.
its about how consumption cannot save you from starving when its creative autocannibalism, and how nothing can save you from being at the mercy of yourself, but you can choose to try to have more mercy.

i hope you all find it as cathartic as i intend to make it for myself.




*not me, not my comic. also unrelated but dont post my shit on tiktok. i will eat you.